The Path I Choose

Every year, it's the same. I feel an excitement towards the New Year like no other. Even more than my own birthday, I fill with anticipation with what can be, what will be, and who I could become. I usually also look forward to "ending" the previous year. Like a ritual of closure, I say goodbye to past pain, hurt, loss and failure. And I look forward with hope to happiness, joy, peace and success.

Every year I do the resolution thing, like everyone else. I hope for brighter days, losing the weight, writing the book. Achieving all my dreams, big or small. And, like everyone else, I usually trail off by March or so. Not because I don't want to keep them, I just let other things come between those hopes and me. I follow the path I'm more used to, the chaotic path of everyday life. The kids, the laundry, the bills, there is always something. And there always will be something.

As I have grown over this past year I have realized some things that have made a major impact on my future this year.

One - Every day has a "midnight". Those hopes and dreams can be renewed daily, those goals have a chance every day to be met. I can start my days with that same anticipation I feel at the beginning of the year.

Two - You have time for what you MAKE time for. I have a busy life, but is it effective? Doing things and being busy, doesn't always mean being productive. There is a big difference.

Three - There is really only one thing that ever gets in my way of my dreams. It's not my kids's schedule, or Shaun's, it's not the bills or the laundry, it's not the doctors or therapists or teachers, it's not anything. But Me. I am the only one who stands in my own way. I just use the rest as really "understandable" and great excuses.

So this year, I have one dream, one resolution, one hope.

To get out of my own way.

So I can lose the weight, so I can make my home "homey", so I can make the people in my life feel special, so I can make a difference, and so I can write the book.

So that my days look like this picture.

A path with curves- I will have ups and downs. A path with color- I will see the beauty in my days. A path with wonder- of what will come and what will be. A path with momentum- I will keep going. And finally- a path without me standing in the middle.