Reading Between the (Vacuum) Lines

I am about to admit something I have only shared with family and few friends. I guess I am a little embarrassed, but to share what I have learned, I must share how I have learned it.

I am...
a cleaning lady.

After Shaun lost his job, I began searching for a job, anything to make an income. I have about four jobs, three I only do once in a while. But my main job is that of cleaning people's homes. I have six now.

Although I STILL HATE the loading and unloading of my things into these kind people's homes - I guess because it is so obvious then, I have come to really enjoy this work. Well, I certainly don't hate it.

It's not my career path, but it is a fantastic job.

It has taught me some really wonderful things...

*Cleaning for 3 to 4 hours counts as a great workout.
*Time alone is so very precious.
*Listening to Steven Covey on your MP3 player can change your life.
*Music makes the job go faster.
*The right music can make ME go faster.
*There is great satisfaction in a job that is "done."
*Soul -searching happens inevitably.
*Cleaning ANY house without interruption is awesome.
*Making someone's day is worth more than they pay me.
*(Although) They pay me pretty good.
*The challenge is not to clean the home, the challenge is to clean the already clean home.
*A person's book collection is very revealing.
*The priorities of a person shows in their home as well.


But, the most amazing thing I have found in this endevour is... me.

This job has become like therapy for me.

Being a hard worker is very rewarding,
working hard gets your endorphins going,
and that much thinking time has put me in touch with a lot of feelings, realizations, and has forced me to go through some much needed healing. I have been known to leave my favorite house in tears many times. There's just something about that house that brings me closer to my own truths.

At first I hid from my kids who some of my clients were. Especially since one of them is my daughter's teacher. I had even asked her teacher to keep it a secret too (I didn't want the kids to have a reason to tease her). But then, while cleaning one day, I realized all I was doing was teaching my daughter that some jobs are better than others, and worse, to be ashamed of her mother. So, now it's in the open, and she thinks it's cool. (Gotta love fourth grade thought processes). And I am learning how to give myself worth.

I am also coming face to face with my need for other's approval and acceptance. I don't get that with this job. My only guess that they like it is that they pay me to do it, and have me come back. I have to tell myself I did a good job before I leave, and then rely on my own opinion and make my own decisions. That, however small, is a healing thing too.

I feel like I am getting to know who I am, my likes and dislikes, my goals, my dreams, my standards, even my purpose. I don't know it all yet, but I am enjoying the process.

Somewhere between those vacuum lines and polished sinks lie my heartaches, my pain, and my old self. And in the darkest of places I am discovering my new self. Actually, my real self.

This isn't the job I will do forever, but without it I wouldn't, and couldn't, be deciding my future the way I am. I am ever so thankful for the work, the income, and the insights I am getting from the experiences. Whatever I do in the future, I will know it will be the right thing for me. Because I have had nothing to do but think about it.

And in so many ways, I know that someday, when I look in the mirror - before and after I clean it - I will be happy with the woman I see.

Work, work, work...

What a whirlwind!! First Shaun gets a job with one company, and then he gets another offer for a different one. He took it and starts next Tuesday. I believe he will be much happier in this new job and he will do well. He will be the General Manager of another restrurant here in the cities. So that is good.

I still have to try to add to our income so now I have the possibility of 4 jobs! I am cleaning houses now, I am hopefully signing with someone today and have 2 more interested. I am hoping to have six houses to alternate weeks and work 3 days a week on that. I also have a part time day care for a little girl with Down syndrome. I met her and her family today and sooo loved it. I can't wait for the first day. I will only have her one day a week for now, maybe 2 eventually. I also have 2 other part time possibilities in the works. One at a daycare/school, and one for the fall as a coordinater for an after school program for children with disabilities. Wow, I hope these all work out, and that it will provide enough money for me and my family, and that I can cover daycre for all the kids. We'll see. Wish me luck!

Working again...

Well, we are working parents again. And I hate it already. Actually, it's not that bad, but wow is it going to take some getting used to. Shaun starts next week at Red Stone American Grill in Minnetonka. He will be the assistant manager with hopes to move up to General Manager within the company soon. The pay is pretty good, but I still need to add to our income.

I had tried starting a day care out of my home, but kept running into walls. Walls that I couldn't do anything about. I couldn't take the courses and fullfill all the requirements at least until August, and without knowing anyone with little ones in need of care, I just wasn't getting anywhere quick enough. Although I still love the idea and the name, it just isn't panning out. I was going to call it "That Little Extra". The idea came from the "extra" chromosome and care involved with kids with Down syndrome. I was hoping to specialize in the care for children like Anthony primarily, but also for other children as well. But there are a ton of moms looking for the same thing - just a kid or two to care for to help out. And I just couldn't find people. I am kind of happy though. The idea of 5 children all day this summer wears me out just thinking of it. Plus working 7:30 t0 5:30 sure is a dramatic switch from the life I was living as a stay at home mom. One where I could make appointments whenever, stay home with a sick little one without worry of someone else's child care, or even go out of town if I felt like it.

I was just getting settled in my life here. And then everything was flipped on it's end.

So I kept trying to think of something else. Daycare for my own children is a nightmare in cost and I don't even want to go down that road of looking for a quality place for Anthony again. That just sucked. I can appreciate the role I was given by being Anthony's mom, to be an educator. But some people's ignorance still just gets to me. So a full-time job wasn't too promising either.

So a week and a half ago I get this hair-brained idea to clean people's homes. I came up with a name and a logo (which was even blessed by a real graphic artist - Thanks Mandy). It's called "Breath of Fresh Air". A dear friend I got reconnected with through facebook helped me get trained in and even created a whole line of cleaning supplies that I can get through her company. (Thanks Maggie). Because of her - I can clean homes "the green way". Better for the environment, the families I will care for, and me. I couldn't do this job and take all the chemicals on my skin and breathing it. So "SIMPLYNEUTRAL" is another huge blessing. Then I sent out an email to a few folks to see if I could "practice". I got 6 houses!!!!! In a week!!! So I will just keep practicing until I get a more consistent jobs, and we'll see.

But here's the yucky part. And I knew it would happen. I set up appointments, and now Shaun has to work on those days. Now I need day care. UGH! How do people do this?? Whose job gets precedence? The one scheduled first - or the one that pays more? Oh well, we'll figure it out. Somehow we always do.