Damn - I had to blink.

See this little one? She's the adventureous one. She is small in size, but she is bigger than life in everything else. Did I ever tell you that she used to wear beaded necklaces all the time? She used to suck her thumb with all of her fingers open and out to the side. She didn't get hair until she was close to two. She could climb before she could walk. She was coloring at a year old. She would spend so much time pulling all of the books of the shelves, just so I could restack them. She used to try to stand up in the tub. I was so scared she would fall. She tells stories like nobody else. She likes to stay up at night. She thinks Jesus is a powerful man and tells me she loves me... to heaven and back again. She is 5 now and I can't believe I have to go buy her a back pack this year. I can't even see to type this through the tears.



Oh, and this one! She used to swing for hours. She loved being outside, and still does. She had a pacifier. She never ate at day care, so she nursed all night long. She gave even grandparents a hard time when they would babysit, always wanted her mama. Her first word was puppy, and she has wanted one ever since. We used to color a lot, she loved when I read to her, and she used to think laundry was fun. At least rolling around in it, and hiding under the basket. She stuck up for her brother at 4 years of age - to some 3rd grade boys. And told her friends that NO ONE laughs at her sister! (Emma was potty training and pulled her pants down in front of the school to tell me she had to go). She has profound thoughts and is very strong-willed. She will be in the 4th grade this year - 2 years to MIDDLE SCHOOL!!

And this little guy? He used to commando crawl faster than "Lightning McQueen". He sang and did the actions for Hokey Pokey before he could walk. His first word was "Papa" at age 3. He had his first taste of fresh crab on the coast when he was 18 months and still loves it. He didn't learn to nurse until he was four months old. He knew all the letters of the alphabet at 3 even though his teachers didn't believe me. He has a laugh like no one else, and always has. He is very sensitive to other people's emotions. He has always loved music and dancing...and cars. Even has a baby, he patted your back when he hugged you. I think he is closer to God than any of us. EVERY day that I pick him up from somewhere - he is SOO happy to see me. Since he was a little preschooler, he would run to me like it had been days, not hours, since we had seen each other - he still does that. He will also be 4th grade, his voice his starting to change and my boy is still a boy, but beginning to change into a young man.

When does it happen and how does it happen? It just goes so damn fast!

I swear I was just holding her and she was pulling on my hair.

It was just the other other day when he was climbing in the cupboards and throwing the tupperware on the floor...wasn't it?

I used to have to cut up her food.

We used to cut shapes out of paper.

She used to nap in my arms.

He used to fit on my lap.

I held them in my arms, nursed them, stayed up late with them, snuggled with them, calmed them, carried them, spun them around the kitchen dancing, blew up balloons for them.

When did it switch to them riding off on their bikes, reading on their own, going over to a friend's house, or talking on the phone to somebody besides grandma?

When did they become so independent?

And why, God, why did I wish for this?

For them just to sleep through the night -

and now I don't have that quiet time where I could watch them sleep.

For them to just play on their own so I could get something done -

and now I have to come up with things to do while they are gone to play with each other or friends.

Why did I wish for them to be just a little bit older?

I blinked!

And now they are 5, and 9, and 11!

I miss my babies tonight.

The ones who were just here a second ago I swear.

The ones who seemed to just visit for a bit, and now have grown into children.

I know if I don't slow down, I will be regretting missing these years too.

Because damn it, I'll blink again and they will be teenagers,

and then I'll close my eyes once more...

and they'll be gone.

Tomorrow we are having a family day.

And I will keep my eyes open and enjoy every moment of it.

So please... if you have little ones, or big ones,

Go hug them a little tighter, put the "TO DO" list down,

and savor the chance to spend a day with them.

And whatever you do:

Don't blink!