Setting Sail

If you know me at all - you know I love quotes. I mean LOVE them. My brother in law bought me a book of them, that I have read once, and am now reading again. Quotes are in the words of famous people, anonymous people, verses from the Bibles, movies, great literature works, even my kids have some great ones that make my day.

I love how they can sum up the amazing details in life and create such a peace in your heart. A calmness of understanding in your mind. I did my whole Christmas letter this year in them. I have a beautiful journal that I have devoted to just listing the ones I love the most. I call it, "My Happy Book". They can be so profound at times, so comforting, so "real", and always - so true! But the number one thing that I love about them the utmost - they are simple. They are simple truths.

Maybe that's why I like them so much. My need for something simple is pretty high with the life I have. Simple is like a calming cup of tea when life leaves me cold. Simple is the comfort in my chaos. Simple is... well, simple. And TRUTH, wow do I have a need for that. My husband loves math for lots of reasons, but one is that there is always an answer to be found. A solution to be discovered. A "truth" that is constant. Don't we all love reliable truth? The kind we can turn to in times of concerns and doubt. The kind that takes away our worries, and straightens our spinning thoughts. I know that's why I love these quotes - simple truths - a constant you can rely. My version of Math (plus, I am not very good at math).

Some of my favorites are:

"God's gift to you is your talent - your gift to Him is to use it."

"If things are tough - remember that every flower that ever bloomed had to go through a lot of dirt to get there."

"The 'I'll do it tomorrow', makes today a waste of time."

"No one likes a lecture, inspire by example."

At least, today - they are my favorites.

I love how they give me hope, encourage me, and help me to lift my head up and keep pressing on, even if I'm trudging through.

However there is one "side effect" of these that I am not particularly fond of.

It's when I come across one, that not only addresses me personally at a time of great need, but just really gets me in my gut. And then I realize that this "Great Epiphany" - which it always is at the time - is really- yep- common sense. It's then that I feel both thrilled with my discovery, and like a total doofus that actually, it IS that simple.

A friend of mine and I were talking today and she gave me a jem! I have been struggling with "what I should do". So much in fact, that I have been paralyzed from really doing anything but thinking about it. A lot. I think about it constantly. In the car, the shower, from the second my hand hits the alarm, to when my head hits the pillow. What should I do, what should I be, should I pursue my dream, should I just make some money and who cares if I like it? ???

I even pray about it, "without ceasing", praying over and over that He will tell me. Then- I can go do it. But I don't "hear" it yet. So I think some more. I think about what I think He might have said, and was it really Him, and is He really sure? (There's a thought - Am I really asking God-if He's sure?)

I think, think, and think. This thinking has even prompted me to ask my husband what he is thinking about, just for different ideas, and I am astounded when he says "nothing". Really???? How does one do that???

I think so much about it, I don't actually DO anything BUT think about it.

So here's what my friend says today - "God steers a MOVING ship."

There is really nothing quite like getting hit in the head with "common sense" - that makes you feel like a total idiot.

So today, my goal is to DO something this week. Something that will maybe lead me to something else, that will allow my little lifeship to be guided somewhere. Somewhere because I will have set sail! To do something, ANYthing, besides think.

The Path I Choose

Every year, it's the same. I feel an excitement towards the New Year like no other. Even more than my own birthday, I fill with anticipation with what can be, what will be, and who I could become. I usually also look forward to "ending" the previous year. Like a ritual of closure, I say goodbye to past pain, hurt, loss and failure. And I look forward with hope to happiness, joy, peace and success.

Every year I do the resolution thing, like everyone else. I hope for brighter days, losing the weight, writing the book. Achieving all my dreams, big or small. And, like everyone else, I usually trail off by March or so. Not because I don't want to keep them, I just let other things come between those hopes and me. I follow the path I'm more used to, the chaotic path of everyday life. The kids, the laundry, the bills, there is always something. And there always will be something.

As I have grown over this past year I have realized some things that have made a major impact on my future this year.

One - Every day has a "midnight". Those hopes and dreams can be renewed daily, those goals have a chance every day to be met. I can start my days with that same anticipation I feel at the beginning of the year.

Two - You have time for what you MAKE time for. I have a busy life, but is it effective? Doing things and being busy, doesn't always mean being productive. There is a big difference.

Three - There is really only one thing that ever gets in my way of my dreams. It's not my kids's schedule, or Shaun's, it's not the bills or the laundry, it's not the doctors or therapists or teachers, it's not anything. But Me. I am the only one who stands in my own way. I just use the rest as really "understandable" and great excuses.

So this year, I have one dream, one resolution, one hope.

To get out of my own way.

So I can lose the weight, so I can make my home "homey", so I can make the people in my life feel special, so I can make a difference, and so I can write the book.

So that my days look like this picture.

A path with curves- I will have ups and downs. A path with color- I will see the beauty in my days. A path with wonder- of what will come and what will be. A path with momentum- I will keep going. And finally- a path without me standing in the middle.