God Called - But I am pretty sure he dialed the wrong number.

You know all those wonderful "comforting" thoughts in hard times. They are supposed to give you a happier perspective, calm you, remind of good days to come.

I need some different ones.

Instead of "thing can't get any worse" - I want to say "things have to get better".
Because everytime things can't get any worse - they do.

So now, after the last few weeks, they HAVE to get better.

Don't say, "God won't give you more than you can handle". Because God doesn't even give it out. Life, satan, karma, whatever you want to call it, is dishing out too much for me.

Murphy, of Murphy's law, isn't just a guest in our home - he moved in, brought his family and are partying in the basement. And I have violent urges to shoot him.

First, we are involved in selling our home and STILL looking for somewhere to live. We hope to close on March 15th, so we need a rental by March 1st. Yes, I am aware how close that is. And I am freaking out, and haven't packed a thing. Murphy's sister, Denial, is always hanging out in my kitchen. She dishes me up ice cream when the house is quiet and I am alone and scared. She even adds chocolate chips on the top. She is making me fat. I hate her.

Second, we got our new insurance. AND IT SUCKS. Our family deductable is so high, we might as well not have any. I will need to keep working just to pay the medical bills. And we will have many. Murphy's brother "Ripyaoff" is taking all our money.

Third, the plan was for me to go to school, get a teaching job, so Shaun could eventually be a 9-5, mon-fri guy. A family. All we wanted was a family life. But with adding school, and the cost, Murphy's cousin, Fear, has me sitting on my computer, frozen, and waiting for something magical to happen.

Fourth and finally - after all this - nothing could have prepared us for the news we got last week. This made losing a job, a house, shitty insurance, and no where to live in 3 weeks nothing to fret over.

I am asking for prayers, lots of them.
Anthony will have surgery in April.
A birth defect was found after extensive testing. How this is just now being figured out is beyond me. Well, I kind of have any idea. Every thing we noticed was just explained away with his "Down syndrome", or his "low muscle tone". Or some other common thought in the DS world. But this one wasn't. His tibia, the shinbone, was twisted and all the "he'll grow out of it's" won't work now. His twisted bone is turning his foot inward, and he is compensating by turning his hip outward. To a degree that he shouldn't be. The "silver lining" I guess, is that they only are doing the tibia and not both the hip and the tibia. For now.
This April they will cut the bone and put in pins and a steel plate. He will be in the hospital for 5-6 days, a wheelchair for the first weeks with one kind of cast, and another kind of cast for the next 3 weeks, but walking. Extensive physical therapy for the next year, close follow-up, x-rays 6 months later, and then next April, another surgery to take our the steel plate and pins, and if all is well with the hip, we should be done. If not, I suppose that will be next.

This little boy, who I never thought would grow out of his rear-facing carseat is now 84 pounds. I think this news was brought to us by Murphy's in-laws - Grief, Terror, Stress, and Devastation.

So life can give you more than you can handle, and that which doesn't kill you only makes you stronger as long - as you don't kill yourself.

God has called me to this life - seriously? I think he got the wrong number.

Iknow, "it will all work out in the end", as long as the end isn't a two-parent, two- income, monday through friday couple who gets time to date, save money for a vacation and enjoy watching their children grow up in a home where you can keep track of their growing years on the wall because it's theirs to write on. Cause, I don't think that one's going to be our end.

A girl can dream, and pray though, can't she?
So keep us in your prayers.

But hey, we'll hit that deductable now.
It can only get better - right?